Nigel Miller

Not a dating expert. Not even close.

Let me be upfront: I'm not a psychologist, a therapist, or a relationship guru. I don't have a PhD. I haven't written a bestselling book about love. I don't have a TikTok following where I dispense wisdom in 30-second bursts.

What I am is a producer and director with a TV background who spent years watching how stories shape the way people think about themselves and their relationships. And at some point, I looked at what was being built in the dating space and thought: we can do so much better than this.

The anti-MAFS

If you've ever watched Married at First Sight or any of its countless cousins, you've seen what manufactured conflict does to people's expectations of relationships. Drama as entertainment. Vulnerability weaponised for ratings. "Experts" who seem more interested in creating television than helping people.

I wanted to build the opposite of that. Not entertainment that exploits relationships — tools that genuinely strengthen them. Not manufactured drama — real psychology, real research, applied to real situations by real people who are just trying to figure this out like the rest of us.

Why I write these articles

The Insights section isn't content marketing dressed up as thought leadership. It's me trying to make sense of the same things you're trying to make sense of — attachment patterns, the chemistry vs anxiety question, why jealousy consumes us when we're young, why we keep choosing the same person, how to tell the difference between gut instinct and self-sabotage.

I write from personal experience because I think dating advice without vulnerability is just noise. I've been the jealous boyfriend at the youth club disco. I've fallen in love with someone's feet. I've convinced myself a weekend would go badly and then watched it happen exactly as predicted. I've been ghosted, I've travelled expecting the worst, and I've had my snoring research methodology comprehensively debunked by a phone app.

The science in these articles is real — Gottman, Bowlby, Fisher, Fredrickson, Eisenberger. The personal stories are real too. And the hope is that somewhere between the research and the honesty, you'll find something useful for wherever you are in your own dating life.

The day job (and how it connects)

My background is in production and directing — primarily TV and digital content. That training taught me something that turns out to be directly relevant to building a dating app: how people tell stories about themselves matters more than almost anything else.

The story you tell yourself before a date shapes the date. The story you tell yourself about why the last relationship ended shapes the next one. The story you tell yourself about whether you deserve love shapes whether you can receive it.

Dive Deep Dating is, at its core, a tool for having better conversations — with other people, with Sparky, and with yourself. And better conversations start with better stories.

Where to find me

I'm most active on LinkedIn, where I post about the intersection of psychology, technology, and human connection. You can also get in touch via the contact form — I read everything, even if I can't reply to everything.

And if you've read this far, you should probably also meet Sparky. Sparky is a much better conversationalist than I am, available at any time of day or night, and — unlike me — has never been caught snoring.